Guinea Pig to the Moon!

Guinea Pig to the Moon!

It was an auspicious, cool, cloudy day when the package arrived at Bill and Bernie's House from the Edmund Scientific Company of Barrington New Jersey (still a fine purveyor of recreational Science products).

It was 1964.  I, an aspiring 10 yr old scientist had just stopped by to check in with Bill, my best friend and Science collaborator in early grade school.

The space race was heating up, a new Echo communications satellite recently launched. Our local paper told when we could see it on our nightly telescope duty.

Echo Satellites were large orbiting balloons with a semi metallic plastic skin used for bouncing micro wave communications off of to get around the Earth's curvature.  Though it sounds rather simple now, it was one of the first telecommunications satellites and  generated a load of other technologies which I won't get into now as we have to prepare for launch.

Echo was made in my State of Minnesota by the G.T Schjeldahl Company in Northfield, I had just received a letter from the Company President in reply to one I sent praising the Company efforts. The President included two samples of the Balloon skin which I wanted to share with my friends.

Things are moving fast, everyone is hot to trot, we will not be left behind.

Bernie, Bill's younger brother had had just completed constructing contents of the package received from Edmond's. A real beauty, 12 foot long hot air balloon made out of gossamer thin, crispy pink paper. She was stretched out flat on the sidewalk between the house and the garage, begging to be launched.

“Where is Bill?” I asked Bernie.

“Off with mom and dad somewhere” Bernie replied.

“Looks like you're prepping for a launch Bernie?”

“Ya Mike” Bernie replied.

“What about Bill?” I asked.

“He’s out, we will have to go it alone, Mike.” said Bernie.

“Ok” I said, feeling like a heel for moving ahead without Bill. But then, progress must continue, mustn't it?

What we going to lift with her?” I asked Bernie.

“Just the Balloon” said Bernie “We are too heavy”.

“Well there is the Guinea Pig you know, Bernie”

“Oh, OK Mike, we can tie the cage to the basket.

“Get the Pig and tie it up Bernie, I will get the Sterno and matches” I directed.

Quick to the garage I ran, grabbing the can of Sterno, prying the lid off, pocketing a book of matches from a workbench drawer.

Sterno for those not in the know, is a pasty substance that comes in cans. Somewhat like Napalm but less volatile. It's often used for  cooking, sometimes for launching Guinea Pigs into Space as you will see shortly.

I met Bernie back at the launch site, he already tied the Guinea cage to the  balloon basket.

“Ready Bernie?”

“Yes Mike".

“What are you waiting for Mike? Fire up the Sterno!” Bernie barked.

I laid a match to the Sterno. Bernie picked up the bottom opening of the balloon holding the wire frame about a foot over the Guinea Pig cage (all the string would allow).

Moving the burning can beneath the balloon opening and above the cage, I looked down at Harold the Guinea Pig. Harold did not look happy. 

Rest assured, any foreboding Harold had then was way underdone.

Slowly the balloon started to fill at the bottom. Bernie handed the balloon frame to me and started lifting paper off the sidewalk so more hot air could get in.

The Sterno can was getting hot in my hand, I asked Bernie to fetch a glove.

Like any good Norwegian/American Guinea Pig Astronaut, Harold continued to scowl. I'm sure he would be sopping wet if he had sweat glands 

By the time Bernie got back with gloves, my hands were toasty but the balloon was almost full of air. 

Tall and proud like a giant 12 foot floating pink paper pickle. A real beauty it was and fine testament to US space efforts.

“Why isn't it lifting off yet Mike?” Bernie asked. ( a conversation filler only)

As usual, I began to Pontificate “Well Bernie, it needs to get hotter, more air molecules have to be pushed out of the balloon to get more lift.”

Duh! said Bernie. (Bernie might have been Bill's little 3rd grade brother but he was surely one of the brightest ones on the planet and did not usually take a shine to my elementary pontifications).

I placed the fire closer to the opening at the bottom of the balloon. Slack started coming out of the strings on Harold's cage.

More heat! Bernie yelled.

With gloves on, I moved the burning can inside the balloon opening.

Time slowed down, this was taking forever...

Will we get lift off or will we have to cut the strings on Harold's cage to make it work? What good will a launch be  without an Astronaut?

Even with a glove, my hand was burning up again. Harold squeaked as his cage tilted to one side.

The North Wind started to blow.

Harold lifted off...We have lift off! Yea!

The balloon burst into flames.  Landed on the neighbor's roof.

Harold's cage crashed onto the roof and broke open.

Harold ran to the rain gutter.

A fire truck arrived.

Harold emerged from a downspout.

Bernie picked him up and brought him in the house.

With all the earnestness of the dedicated 10 yr old scientist I was, I explained to the fire fighters what happened blaming the North Wind.

They tried holding back laughter, I was not amused. This was serious business. We had just suffered a devastating loss. The Country should be in mourning.

Thankfully no damage was done to any property. The Firemen gave me Harold's cage back along with a stern lecture never to use Sterno again.

I nodded my head “yes” keeping a new secret plan to myself...

Hot air balloons? Ha! Child's play! We need to get up to date! Time for liquid fuel rockets. See, I been researching at the library. Kerosene will make a great fuel, Hydrogen Peroxide a fine Oxygenator.  The drug store sells a 3% Peroxide solution. We will have to make a Still.

Loads of work ahead…. Were not done yet!

The Fire Truck went back to the station.

I can't wait till Bill gets back. He’s so good thinking these things through. Bill said there is a Transit of Venus on Saturday. I will talk it over with him then. I better head home before mom gets mad I’m late for dinner.

Oh what a day!

The end.

Epilogue - This being the year 2016.

The story told is true and happened in North Minneapolis, USA, Planet Earth about 50 years ago.

Harold is not the true name of the Guinea Pig. The name Harold was used to both protect his identity and better match his stoic personality. Of course, "Fluffy Buns" is not a good name for an Intrepid Norwegian/American Astronaut/Explorer.

Harold the Guinea Pig Astronaut died the year following his launch into space. He will always be fondly remembered.  Buried in the back yard with honors befitting his brave astronaut-ness. Homemade stick crosses adorned his grave so that God may welcome him in heaven.

My then best friend Bill became a Psychiatrist, preeminent historian on many planetary discoveries particularly Mars. Author of many great books on Astronomy, the Human Brain and History.

Bernie became an Engineer, Electrical I think.

I did eventually construct a Still, though not for concentrating drug store Hydrogen Peroxide.

That is another story.

I hope you like this one.

Guinea Pig to the Moon!